TEETERING TOWARDS A TRI...

Two years ago, when I was just starting out on this running malarkey, and was looking online for runs I could take part in, I came across a mention of the London Triathlon. The distances didn't seem too idiotic, and I like swimming (in fact that was my exercise of choice before running or children), and cycling. Perhaps I should have a go at that?

I've created a monster, was Mad Twin's not unnatural response when I told her, and I thought no more of it for a while. However, a few months ago I got chatting to another marathon mum (a proper one, not like me - she's done it four times!), who told me that she had joined a Tri Club. They do swimming on Monday evenings, she said, come along...

I blogged about my first pathetic attempts in the pool on maniacmum, so if you want a laugh at my expense, you are more then welcome to go there, otherwise you can laugh at me here too. Two for the price of one, howzat?

After several weeks where I managed miraculously not to drown, but came home so bunged up I couldn't breathe, and was so demoralised I was on the verge of giving up, I bought a nose clip and slowly things have been improving.

Viz, when I first started I could only do one length at a time on my side. I can now do two like everyone else. And sometimes I even catch up with people. I must be improving a bit, as my lovely, cheerful (and only partially sadistic - if he says, Do it again, one more time, I may not be answerable for my actions) instructor has got me doing the same drills as everyone else now.

So most weeks the routine goes something like this:

2 lengths on my side head, not using my arms, kicking with my legs, putting head from side to side in water.

2 lengths superman - same routine with one arm out.

2 lengths shark - one arm outstretched, as I put my face in the water, I lift the other arm out like a shark's fin

2 lengths shark, but I keep my face down and lift my arm up for a second time.

So far so good. I can mostly do that now.

But then he introduces the stroke and I go all to pieces. I can cope with getting my head in the water, I can manage to roll from side to side. Most of the time I am not swallowing the pool, but the minute I have to think about what I am doing with my hands I am all over the shop. It doesn't help that I am totally uncoordinated and have never been able to rub my tummy and pat my head at the same time. So the minute Lovely Instructor starts telling me to bring my arm, bend my elbow, make an s shape with my hand AT THE SAME TIME as I get my head in the water, it all goes pear shaped, and I haven't a clue what to do.

The week before last I was actually feeling quite smug, as I had managed to get some sessions in the pool outside my lesson and I felt my stamina was improving. I had also managed to work out how to swim a length with a maximum stroke count of 18, which made me feel quite cheerful. Not only that, I did a five mile run and a six mile bike ride that week. Now if I can only manage to put them together...

This week by contrast was an illustration in humility, and not getting above meself. It was baking hot and the kids were really scratchy coming in from school. I ran around like a maniac tidying up after them/shouting at them/cooking tea/doing a head lice trawl (we sadly have hundreds of the little buggers, most of whom seem to have taken permanent residence in my second daughter's head.) etc etc. I rushed out late and was last one in the pool, arriving in a state of high stress and exhaustion, which didn't make for the greatest of starts.

To begin with things were ok. I managed to keep up with the crowd and felt I was holding my own. Then my wretched nose clip kept falling off, my goggles (which really belong to the children, but I haven't had time to buy my own) kept getting filled with water, my hair was escaping from my swimming cap (which also belongs to the children), and I just couldn't get my head round the instructions I was being given. At one point I was pulled up (quite rightly) for not getting it right and when everyone else went on to the next thing, I was left behind doing an easier version of the stroke. It was totally stupid, but I felt like the last one in the sack race. Christ I'm 41, and I was at the back of the pack feeling like a lemon, and wishing I was anywhere else but here. I did manage to resist the urge to burst into tears and leave the pool, but only just...

Things did just about come good in the last few lengths, but the rate I'm going I can't ever imagine that I'll manage to compete in a tri. It will take me years to get even part way good enough....

Tonight I'm going out for a run with the club for the first time. That should be a laugh.... I expect I'll be at the back of the pack there too. But at least I know I can run....